My parents are immigrants from Hong Kong and Myanmar. I grew up hearing stories of their tenacity and struggles that we didn’t have to endure growing up. Although we are tremendously grateful for everything our parents have done for us, my sister and I became the focus of their hopes and dreams—and with that came high expectations and prescriptive ways to live our lives. 

In my family, like many Asian families, we didn’t talk about emotions. This left me emotionally stunted, which is why I’ve invested so much growing emotionally as an adult. For a long time, I didn’t understand my inner world, which was often filled with anger and shame. Sadly, this experience is common among children of immigrants, and in any family where emotions aren’t nurtured.

I have empathy for my parents, who did not have role models for parenting or emotional closeness. While I didn’t experience catastrophic, “big T” trauma, I endured repeated, “little t” trauma from their constant fighting and old-fashioned parenting—a result of the transgenerational pain passed down from their parents and culture. Ironically, although we all wanted closeness, the fighting kept us from the closeness we each craved.

Now, as a father, I’m determined to break this cycle. With the help of several individual and couples/family therapists, and men’s groups, I’ve practiced the skill of awareness and vocabulary for my emotions. I’ve developed complementary yet distinct values that help me stand up for myself with my parents, but in a way that’s rooted in kindness and respect. This approach—firm yet compassionate—still takes intention and discipline every day, but it’s brought harmony within me and my family.

Growing up, I experienced firsthand the challenges of taking care of family members with mental illness. I saw what untreated bipolar, depression and anxiety can do to loved ones and the devastating impact it can have on the whole family. It was heartbreaking to see zombie versions of my loved ones from over medication, which is why my philosophy is always to use the lowest dose possible while still being effective, that also minimizes side effects.

It saddens me that to this day, many of my family members are suffering from depression and anxiety, and not getting the help they deserve due to stigma and access challenges. Those who did seek help unfortunately did not get high quality care nor was it culturally responsive. This fuels my passion for providing culturally responsive care, especially to Asian Americans and immigrant families. 

I am so lucky to be married to my wonderful wife. We’ve learned to understand each other’s love languages, worked through cultural differences, and navigated the challenges of parents wanting to be close to their children and grandchildren.

We’ve experimented with living in the same space, in separate apartments in the same building, and eventually in separate homes in the same town. It’s taken years of individual and couples therapy and setting healthy boundaries, but now we’ve found a way to enjoy our time together while maintaining harmony. We can now truly cherish the moments we share with our families and the joy of raising our children.

I was inspired to pursue MD PhD training after witnessing a miracle of modern medicine. My aunt developed metastatic breast cancer and thankfully enrolled in the clinical trial for Herceptin, one of the first magic bullet treatments for cancer. Instead of the standard chemotherapy that wrecks havoc on a patient’s body, her cancer treatment was a targeted therapy that specifically kills her type of breast cancer. Her cancer melted away and she is one of the longest surviving patients from her trial. I learned early that by customizing treatment to a patient’s unique needs, not only can it be life saving but it doesn’t have to come with side effects. 

When I began caring for patients, I saw that mental and emotional suffering was largely ignored by the medical system despite the profound suffering I could see in my patients’ eyes. This injustice, combined with my personal experiences, led me to psychiatry. I also realized that flourishing goes beyond just treating illness–it requires dedicated effort to live life to the fullest. Psychiatry allows me to do both: heal and help people live their best lives.

As a serial venture-backed entrepreneur, I’ve lived through the highs and lows that come with building companies—the exhilaration of going from idea to assembling a world-class team and earning your first customer, but also the crushing weight of isolation, self-doubt, and burnout. My identity became so tied to my companies that I often sacrificed my own well-being and family in the process. Burnout became a recurring challenge, and led me to develop a personalized approach to self-care–integrating meditation, diet, exercise, restorative experiences, and mindfulness. 

Having worked with several executive coaches with various approaches, I experienced that transformational growth requires more than just surface-level strategies. My biggest breakthroughs came from pairing coaching with deep psychotherapy to overcome the emotional patterns that were holding me back. This is why I offer a unique combination of executive coaching and therapy for ambitious leaders. It’s about more than just performing at your best—it’s about sustaining your impact by reconnecting with yourself. When you harness emotional intelligence and align with your true self, you unlock not only your own potential but the creativity and impact of your team.

I studied metabolism and longevity for my PhD, discovering and characterizing some of the biochemical reactions in our bodies that lead to health and disease. My PhD lab discovered some of the foundational science in longevity and is often cited by longevity experts like Peter Attia, MD. Check out the podcasts with Peter and my PhD advisor here and here. My research has given me a deep understanding of what truly impacts longevity, from cellular function to overall well-being.

I’ve personally experimented with different types of diets (caloric, time or dietary restricted) and exercise approaches, experiencing firsthand the impact they can have on mood, energy, mental acuity and stamina. I’ve taken supplements in addition to the typical pharmaceutical medications and appreciate the role each can play. I have also optimized my sleep with wearables, a cooling bed, and various bedtime routines. So the recommendations I make on sleep, diet and exercise, not only have been effective for my patients, I have also experimented personally.

I’m obsessed with cooking and discovering restaurants with sublime experiences. Whether it’s as simple as fresh pulled mozzarella or a three Michelin starred restaurant, I’m totally down. I’ve also gone down the rabbit hole of pour over coffees and coaxing the best flavors out of teas from around the world. 

I believe in the innate and profound healing power of being in nature. I enjoy hiking, the forest, mountains, desert, and sunsets on the beach, especially with my wife and two young kids.